Exercise, Cookies and Wine.
I inadvertently stacked these items to bring them downstairs, and then had to laugh as it was a perfect depiction of my life lately.
As most of you know, my husband has decided to winter in China, leaving me here with our two delightful children and my 5 month old niece. Oh, don't get me wrong, we could have uprooted our family in the incredibly generous 3 weeks notice and all gone to China, but, well, ummm NO.
I have a bunch of wonderful friends helping me through this insane time. Mostly though, people just want to know we are doing. Here are some of the better examples of how we are coping.
The first day I had all 3 kids on my own, Nathan woke up screaming for Daddy for 2 hours and I sent Emma to school without her teeth brushed. I felt so awful and was afraid she would get made fun of for bad breath. Later that week I had my undies on inside out, and my voice was hoarse from screaming.
During our second week the bus decided not to come one day.
Then Phil came home for Turkey Day and proceeded to take the new schedule and shove it. So after a brief visit and retraining, we are back to our regularly scheduled craziness.
When not hitting his baby cousin with a plastic hammer, Nathan can be found...
- pouring Mommy and Auntie more wine in Auntie's living room.
- flinging the remaining Cheerios around the family room...about half a box. Cheese-its and cat food also have the same desired effect.
- spilling milk, juice or any liquid substance all over the table or floor.
- drawing with marker....on Emma's chair or himself.
- emptying all the soap in the sink or tub.
- or hitting/biting/tackling Emma.
Today so far he has opened a bottle of Motrin and attempted to fill the medicine spoon. Not only was the spoon filled, so was the sink. Not sure if the child proof cap was loose but I hope to hell so, or I am in trouble! Then he INSISTED he needed to stand up all the picture frames that were piled up to make room for Christmas decor, and after repeated requests to leave them along, one fell and broke. And finally he spilled milk all over the table, chair and floor. Yuck! It looked like an accident, but knowing him, he tried to pour the milk on his bread for fun. All of this is followed with a pitiful..."sorry Mommy". Somehow I feel bad. Little manipulator.
Now on to Emma. She is such a delight these days. I didn't know there were so many possible opinions to have on just about everything! And did you know that every disappointment requires a bucket full of tears. I mean if the color of the toilet paper is not the right shade of white, tears. Imagine therefore, the following scenario. Go to McDonald's and ask for 1 girl and 1 boy Happy Meal. The toys are Hello Kitty and Transformers. We get 2 meals with a Transformer in each meal. Did you know that McDonald's made Emma into a boy. Yep they just did a gender change right there in the drive though lane and now Emma is a boy. We had to hear this the whole way home from the McD's by Target. I almost wet my pants I was trying so hard not to laugh.
Talking back is a favorite pastime, and overall freshness is a common theme. Perfect example, we have to bring the garbage and recycling down every other Monday. Now garbage goes out twice a week so we are talking 2 out of 8 days a month, I ask for help dragging and empty blue recycling bin up the driveway. It even has a string tied on the side handle to make pulling easier. Now remember it is EMPTY. "Moooommm this is soooo heavy, I can't do this." "Just help me please Emma." I get to the top with my 2 garbage cans, newspaper recycling bucket, Emma's backpack and the mail, and turn around. There is Emma. No bucket. "Emma, where is the bucket?" "I left it there" as she points down the driveway. In the middle of the hill is the bucket on its side. The little brat just dropped the damn thing and walked up the driveway empty handed without a care in the world. Really? Really?
To manage all this stress....the doctors all want to know how you manage stress, as if you have time to manage it....Carolyn and I have started an exercise program of our own making. Carolyn brings over her videos of these psycho freaks doing squats. Forward squats, backward squats, sumo squats. You are not supposed to let your knee go over your toe when squatting....do you know how hard that is when you have small feet? I mean it is near impossible. So I worry about my feet and then do a backward squat instead of a forward squat and it all goes to hell from there. To make it even more challenging, the kids need to stand directly in front of or behind us while we are doing these things. And on some days I get really lucky and Nathan lays on me while I do sit ups. I'd like to see these workout buffs handle that in a video. I follow these sessions with wine and cookies. As you can imagine I am not "getting the arms and legs I always wanted".
While all this fun is going on, we are preparing for Christmas. Carolyn and I are dragging our trees in and putting up lights. My village is up, presents and being purchased and wrapped. Cards were created and partially sent. Cookies are baked and discarded or eaten.There are lots of holiday events going on that the kids want to participate in and everyone is coming here for Christmas. We are like the Whos down in Whoville and the Grinch is on Skpe yelling about money. Gotta love the mute button. Now Grinchy did purchase 6 presents in China for me so I had less to do. He arrives on the 22 (3 days before Christmas for those who are counting).
So when people ask, I tell them I am crazier than usual and most likely drunk. It has been 10 days without a break away from my darlings and I can't WAIT until this weekend when I get a night out with some friends, and a night and day to myself thanks to Carolyn.
Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays and Happy New Year to all of you. Come on over and hang out...there is almost always a bottle of wine open. :)
